Tell someone safe about your struggle. This may be a friend, mentor or professional counsellor. Make sure you confide in someone face to face, not only online. When you keep your issues secret, they grow in power. In the isolation of your mind, shame and self-resentment can thrive. By sharing your struggle, you open a space where truth and healing can be spoken.

You Are Not Alone

Download accountability software on all of your devices. These are able to filter and block unwanted content, as well as empowering you to live a life of transparency and honesty with at least one other person through reporting features. You may also consider a digital detox for a time. Smart phones can be switched for older models, and intentionally limiting your time online can help you avoid common triggers.

Get Software

On top of your digital restrictions, face-to-face accountabilty is vital for recovery. Find a female friend or small group to regularly ask you the hard questions and support you on the journey to freedom. This accountability and support will get you through the hardest parts of recovery and be your first point of contact in times of temptation. You cannot overcome pornography alone, call in outside help. 

Find Groups & Get Started

You must reflect on why you use pornography, what triggers you and what your unmet emotional needs are. This is the work of recovery, it is so much more than simply avoiding pornography or ‘bad’ behaviours. You must actively pursue healing, which usually means delving into the pain of the past. It’s not easy to ask yourself ‘why?’ but it is powerful. Do this with the support of a professional counsellor, therapist or mentor and utilize recovery guides. 

Find Recovery Guides

Recovery isn’t all about restricting, it’s about adding to your life. In this case, restoring intimacy. If you have a partner, work on restoring intimacy and trust with them. Whether you’re single or married, you also need to engage with community and build deep friendships. Doing so will fill up your intimacy tank and make you feel great! This means you will have less desire for pornography. It’s also important to connect with God and heal your spiritual relationship.

Connect with God Through Music

Take care of yourself. Have fun, pursue your passions and do what refreshes your soul. It’s important to tend to your basic physical needs for a healthy diet, exercise, sleep routine and time away from the screen, preferably in nature. On top of this, throw yourself into projects, hobbies, sports and personal interests. Again, recovery isn’t just about restriction, it’s about adding to your life and creating something wonderful. Give yourself something positive to focus on through self-care and hobbies.

Start the Journey